that's what im always using, Mr Webbook. (:

sometimes it gets so strong,
i feel like going all out,
and leaving everything else behind.










I feel so out of place,suddenly, everywhere.
its empty, like its always empty between my posts. ha.

I see four walls,

and there's no where to turn to.

but im glad its getting better.

pardon me,
i need some time, alone.

you don't seem to know me, enough.

射手座
射手女生可能永远也不会知道自己想要的是什么，但是她一直都很清楚，她不想要的是什么。> 　　>>　　她总喜欢做幕后的看客，冷冷地，静静地看着一切，在她眼里，一切都在她的> 意料之中，她并不觉得有什么是新奇的，如果她表现得新奇，那是因为她觉得应该这样做。她像一个看戏的人，永远置身事外。> 　　>> 　　你不要责怪她冷漠，这是她保护自己的唯一方式。她像一只刺猬，随> 时竖起自己身上的刺，但她的刺不会伤人，她只是用来武装自己。> 　　>>　　她不敢要太多的爱，她怕享受完爱之后，剩下的只是加倍的痛。所以当别人对她过度宠爱时，她不但不会欣喜，反而会惊惧地逃走，她不知道怎样回报别人对她的爱，如果你得到她的喜爱，那是因为她已经知道如何面对，如何回报了。> 　　> >> 　　她追求那种君子之交淡如水的境界。> 　　>>　　她懂得爱人，但她不习惯爱人，她知道爱往往伴随着恨，而恨，是太沉重的伤痛，也是太容易让人疲倦的感情。她不想痛，也就懒得去恨，于是，为了防范恨与痛的到来，她只好选择不爱，即使爱，也是淡淡的，冷冷的。别怪她，她是真的不知道如何专注。> 　　>>　　她有时也很虚伪。不要指责她，她之所以选择虚伪，那是你勉强她做她不愿做但又> 拒绝不了的事，她不习惯承诺，也不懂得拒绝，她最擅长的是难为自己。她不想你难过，只好令自己难过。> 　　>>　　她总是固执地认为自己有超乎寻常的承受力，她将自己想得太坚强，而把别人想得太> 脆弱。她老是担心自己的行为会让别人受到伤害。她不知道，受伤的其实是自己。只是她不知道如何表现出来，她迷糊得像别人所认为的那样，将自己当成一个百毒不侵的人。> 　　> 　　>>　　别以为她很洒脱，很多时候，她其实> 是放不下的-——她比任何人都要敏感，都要细腻，但她不会让你知道，她明白，即使你知道了，也是无济于事。她的心是把握不住的风，她渴望像风一样单纯而自由。> 　　>> 　　她不是不想平静，她只是找不到平静的理由，她> 一生都无法明确自己在人世要扮演的角色，她只有不停地寻求，寻求自己最终的目的。>> 　　>>　　如果她找到了，她会毫不犹豫地停下来，从此放弃心灵的漂泊。很遗憾，她永远也不会满足，她的追求永不停止。她的心再累，无法逼迫自己放弃梦想，梦想是她唯一的支撑点。> 　　>>　　千万别让她失望。因为她学不会原> 谅，她非常渴求完美，虽然她知道世间没有绝对的完美，但，她有绝对追求完美的执着。你若令她失望，她会不可挽回地离开，即使她的心在滴血，即使痛楚重得要压垮她的生命，她也绝不回头。> 　　> 　　>>　　那个时候，你在她脸上所看到的，> 是让人寒心的决绝。即使她还在你的身边，她的心也早就离你十万八千里，你看不到她的恨，但是你会感受到比恨还让人痛苦的冷淡。她的离开是心灵的离开。> 　　>>　　她可以在前半分钟对你好得让你受宠若惊，也可以在后半钟> 冷漠得让你不可接受。不要问她为什么这样善变，她也不知道。当你看到她在疯狂地快乐或悲伤时，千万不要迷惑，不管她看起来是多么的疯狂，她内心其实是冷静的，她比你们任何一个旁观者更知道如何处理快乐与悲伤，她只是习惯-——也可以说是喜欢将一切都变得疯狂。> 　　>>　　因为她觉得这> 是义务，也是权利，她是制造气氛的能手，她的一句俏皮话会让一切轻快起来，但她的一声叹息又会将一切都弄得很沉重。她总是不由自主地交错操纵着快乐与忧郁.> 　　>> 　　她并不如你们看到的那么快乐，同样，也不如你们看到> 的那么忧伤，只是，她忧郁时，喜欢带上快乐的面具，而当她快乐时，忧郁又不肯轻易放过她。> 　　>>　　在她的世界里，盛着的不是快乐的源泉，而是她不愿在人前滴下的泪水。你看到的她，笑起来像一个孩子，你有时会认为她天真得像是童话里走出来的天使。但是，你若有心，你会看到她沉静时脸上挥之不去的忧伤，还有她的眼底，竟那么凝重地积压着一种看破红尘的味道。她只有在午夜无人的时候，才会完全地释放自己。她不会在众目睽睽之下表露她的无助，她的彷徨，她的沧桑。> 　　>> 　　她心> 里的，是永远流不尽的泪。你所看到的坚强，只是她在竭力掩饰的脆弱。>>>>>>

its time to take a break..

It seems that i lived to bring harm, pain, dissapointment and sadness to people.






history repeats,
yin wei wo bu shuo chu de ai, hai wo si qu le ni.
im ashamed.
i'll never learn.
and i'll never forgive myself.

web-by cam-my, lol.

lesson was from 8am to 10am today, i reached at 8.30am. haha, so it was a one and a half hour lesson, lol. muly was roam-ing about (as she said), so she acc me for lunch. Then she wanted to go to AMK ITE so we took the train and something happen.

Mr Random walked passed, stare at us with a surprised look, (i thought it was muly's friend) so i turned around and looked at muly, then,

Mul: You know him ah?

Me: lol, i tot he was your friend?

Then we both laugh, then Mr Random start to say wierd stuffs...~~

Mr R: I know her, she very pretty. (points at muly) LOL

Mr R: If i am policeman, i know her. (???)

Then the train came and we stood up to board the train,

Mr R and us entered from diff doors but he walked towards us and stare at muly, LOL again.

(by this time, many passengers were looking at us already.)

Muly was like trying to get away from him but he kept following her, and started...

Mr R: Auntie~~ Auntie~~ Auntie~~ (looking at muly) [HAHAHAHA..]

I quickly got off at the next station which was AMK MRT and muly waited for the "Doors Closing" to sound and when the doors was closing she faster came out. LOL. HAHA, muly looked so frightened, we took the next train after that, but we were still looking out to see if Mr R would be around, lol. hahaha.

Going for AYG appreciation dinner in the evening, heard that they would be giving FREE mascots - FRASIA, I bet aida would be playing with it's hair everyday, lol. I can imagine how high we would be if The "TEETH" is there too. or maybe The Feet? HAHAHA.

On a sad note, the dinner ends at 10pm, its at kallang, and i've got to wake up at 5.30am tmr. :(

bye, poo poo.

boo~

i kinda crushed my lala land, i'm sorry i crushed yours too.

I should have known that this was coming.
I should have controlled.
But i didnt regret so.
Because you made me know that it was worth it.

Received the letter about my attendance for S&W lessons, mum naaged abit but didnt say much after that, ha.
but i'll better go in future in case she de-bar me for NAFA test. lol.

went to GWC with BOH DP and MUL today, took a long time to settle down for food. Ate at some japanese restaurant in the end.

wet tissues, haha.

AYG has officially ended. and school has officially started too.

the last few days wasn't that bad for AYG after all. kinda miss "THE TEETH" lol.

I brought mum and CHERYL GOH PEI JIN to eat Kuishin-bo on sat, quite expensive but overall, worth it. Didnt took any pictures as i was TOO into my food, lol.

shopped around jurong point then went home.

Was working on Sun, and had to go down tiong after school yesterday and today as there were too many UNFINISHED things to be done. anyway, i would never complete everything as there will always be more things coming up.

School was fine for the 2 days, still continue crapping with friends in school, had a change of lifeskill teacher, nothing much else more.

I was browsing through all these and i couldnt take it anymore so i decided to post. LOL. haha.

BEFORE

AFTER

so is short hair or long hair better? haiz...

Its a very tiring day,
and i think its gonna be the same for the next 3 days.
im glad i have aida,
cheers me up and we just kept ourselves
entertained, with lots of drama, haha. smiles.


I kinda know changes are unavoidable
but it just makes me feels like
i'll have to fight for my oxygen to survive.
there will always be this point in time when i
know that times are hard
and i'll just have to solve the puzzle myself.
I just feel irritated by many small tiny things in life,
and at the end of the day it just gets worst.
i know things will not always turn out your way
but who doesnt hope for the best?
there are times, when i just cant focus
and it kind of breaks me down, but i'll still try hard to strive.
with everything going on,
i'm glad i took up many events to keep myself occupied.
and yea, since i can't change the environment to fit myself,
i'll just have to change myself to fit the environment.


you were just you, but you made her dissapointed.
but still, thanks yea.